Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
