he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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