Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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