Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
