Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
