I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize