Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry infddi hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

Fav 67 2552 6502
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.

Fav 7 5451 1372
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.

Fav 9 5199 1402
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout

Fav 6 2805 1360
share tweet
(240): View more from Maryland

Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.

Fav 9 4685 1143
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.

Fav 19 5021 1269
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.

Fav 25 1302 4500
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.

Fav 3 299 548
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped

Fav 0 61 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT