I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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