I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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