he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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