Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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