Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
