Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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