when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
