Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
