I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
