She went from zero to smokin in five shots
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
