dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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