thus making me awesome and them whores
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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