he puts the penis in happiness.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
