it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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