just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
