it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I CAN MOONWALK!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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