that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
