what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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