I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
