Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
