Whoa Z and x make the same sound
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i came on her dog
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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