for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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