I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
