Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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