My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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