I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
