I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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