I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
