everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize