I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
