I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
vagina is talking i cant
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
