Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
