All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
