Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
