Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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