are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
