Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
