Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
