The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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