she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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