ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
