It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
