i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
