What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
