All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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