you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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