So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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