I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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