I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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