I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This is classic penis vs brain.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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