There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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