I just made out with a guy for $7.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
