i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
