Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
