I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
