we have officially lost it.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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