What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
