but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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